Recommended Reading and Music
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Book topics:
Sacred Sexuality and Healing

Love, Polyamory, and New Paradigm Relationships

from the 1997 Celebration of Eros

Om heart

Books on Sacred Sexuality and Healing

Margo Anand
The Art of Sexual Ecstasy
Los Angeles: JP Tarcher, 1989
The Art of Sexual Magic
Both available in paperback
The most comprehensive of the latest crop of tantra handbooks and one of the few authored by a woman, this volume is beautifully produced with numerous illustrations. Based on a seminar series, it's packed with exercises for individuals and couples. There is some integration of Eastern and Western techniques, the instructions are clear and intermixed with intimate anecdotes.
The section on Healing Your Genital Armoring is especially worthwhile.

Joani Blank

San Francisco Downthere Press, 1993
Beautiful photographs celebrate the natural diversity of yonis.

Jolan Chang
The Tao of Love and Sex

New York: EP Dutton, 1982
A great introduction to the Taoist approach to Sacred Sex. The first in a series by the same author. The style is gentle and evocative, the methods less detailed than some of the other taoist writings.

Stephen Chang
The Tao of Sexology

San Francisco: Tao Pub, 1986
Dr. Chang's instructions for sexual health and happiness, drawn from traditional Taoist practice. Includes instructions for both male and female "Deer Exercise" and use of healing positions for intercourse. The simple Morning & Evening Prayers suggested could change the world. Chang is the author of numerous books on healing and nutrition and his tone is sometimes dogmatic and pseudo-scientific, but the material is quite intriguing.

Mantak Chia & Michael Winn
Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy

New York: Aurora Press, 1984
This is the owner's manual to the male body you probably didn't receive when you were born (but should have). Presents some theory but mainly very detailed and systematic men's practices for esoteric sex. Covers both solo and dual cultivation. Also provides good anatomic and hygienic information. Mantak Chia nicely blends Eastern and Western knowledge and presents complex material in a straightforward, step-by-step manner. His instructions for male ejaculatory control and "Valley Orgasm" are excellent.

Mantak Chia and Dauglas Abrams Arava
The Multi-Orgasmic Man

San Francisco, Harper 1996
Chia's most recent book is a popularized version of Taoist Secrets of Love. Easier reading but not as comprehensive as the earlier book.

Mankak & Maneewan Chia
Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy

New York: Healing Tao Books, 1986
This is the woman's version of the owner's manual you wish had been issued at birth. There is some overlap with the book above, but the practices given are for women. Master Chia and his wife Maneewan's instructions will allow you to safely explore the outer limits of sexual experience, alone or with a partner. Chia's books are more explicit about the links between sexual and spiritual energies than some of the other Taoist books and include details on several forms of meditation.

Barbara Hand Clow
Liquid Light of Sex: Kundalini Rising at Mid-Life Crisis

Santa Fe, Bear & Company, 1996
This astrologically oriented treatment is an excellent resource for those wishing more insight into kundalini and opening the chakkras or energy centers of the body.

Nik Douglas and Penny Slinger
Sexual Secrets

New York: Destiny Books, 1979
An encyclopedic book with wonderful illustrations, this is a good source of historical background and theory of Hindu and Buddhist tantric practice. Not the best how-to manual, but it does provide inspiration. A fascinating and unique section on Tantric Union of Three and the Taoist Secret Dalliance make this volume a must.

Michael Reed Gach
Acupressure for Lovers: Secrets of Touch for Increasing Intimacy

New York, Bantam, 1997
An excellent how-to manual for those who want to access the energy meridians of the body as part of their lovemaking. Clear and specific instructions with lots of diagrams and photos.

Cybele and E. J. Gold
Tantric Sex

Hohm Press, 1978
This book was one of the first to get explicit about spiritual sexual practice. It is harder to follow than some of the more recent works, but excels in describing the consciousness "spaces" one reaches through these practices. The Gold's call their brand Objective Sex, and offer some unique preparatory consciousness exercises.

Julie Henderson
The Lover Within: Opening to Energy in Sexual Practice

Barrytown, NY: Station Hill, 1986
Talman Co., 150 Fifth Ave., NY, NY 10011
A wonderful book, perfect for the uninitiated Westerner who has no background in energetic or meditative disciplines. Henderson is not technique oriented, rather she offers lots of exercises for increasing energy awareness, both alone and with partners. Her own personal experiences with the exercises provide a friendly guide to their use.

Carter Heyward
When Boundaries Betray Us:
Beyond Illusions of What Is Ethical in Therapy and Life

San Francisco, Harper, 1993
Rather than addressing the nature of sacred sex, this volume helps redefine the role of the therapist or sexual healer who doesn't shrink from traditional professional boundaries. A bold and courageous effort to confront the issues of ethics, love, truth and genuine intimacy.

Sacred Sex

Mill Valley: Mandala, 1994
A great introduction to tantric sex, full of practical how to information.

Barbara Marciniak
Earth: Pleiadian Keys to the Living Library

Santa Fe, Bear & Company, 1995
The scope of this volume goes way beyond sacred sex, but the excellent and inspiring material on sacred sexuality is not to be missed. Unique and thought-provoking.

Charles and Caroline Muir
Tantra: The Art of Conscious Loving

San Francisco: Mercury House, 1989
This lovely little manual with its endearing artwork is sure to become a modern tantric classic. It's a good choice for those who shrink from heavy reading. The Muirs' gentle, humorous and healing approach includes tips for harmonious relationships as well as specific tantric practices drawn from their popular seminars.

Caroline Myss
Anatomy of the Spirit

New York, Harmony Books, 1996
This modern classic focuses more on spirit than on sex but is included here because it is an excellent guide to understanding the seven chakras or energy centers of the body. Myss integrates Hindu/tantric, Jewish Kabbalah, and Christian Sacraments as well as providing tools for indentifying blocks in and clearing the different centers.

David Ramsdale and Ellen Dorfman
Sexual Energy Ecstacy

Goleta, CA: Peak Skill, 1985
A beautiful introduction to the practice of higher consciousness sexualove. This is an eclectic mix of tantric, Taoist and Western knowledge. Straight forward, easily understandable, and poetic, it is packed with information, but sometimes lacking in detail.

Sunyata Saraswati and Bodhi Avinasha
The Jewel in the Lotus

San Francisco: Kriya Jyoti, 1987
A systematic approach to tantric kriya yoga. Much emphasis on yoga postures, mantras and breathing as preparation for tantric sex. Concludes with instructions for the sacred Maithuna Rite.

Miranda, Shaw
Passionate Enlightenment: Women in Tantric Buddhism

Princeton: Princeton Univ Press, 1994
Academic but fascinating account of the origins of tantra. Guess what? Shaw argues that tantra was created by women who sought to balance the increasingly cerebral, monastic, patriarchal Buddhist religion with ancient Earth-based Goddess worshipping practices.

David Schnarch
Passionate Marriage

New York: Henry Holt, 1998
Schnarch specializes in integrating sex therapy with marital therapy. This volume translates the basic concepts of sacred sexuality into completely Western language while challenging the reader to summon the emotional maturity required for deep intimacy.

Kenneth Ray Stubbs
Women of the Light: The New Sacred Prostitute

Larkspur California, Secret Garden, 1994
This highly readable collection of stories by women who are embodying the archetype of the Sacred Prostitute in a variety of modern ways created quite a stir in our community when it came out several years ago. An inspiring and delightful turn-on.

Books on Love, Polyamory, & New Paradigm Relationships Return to top

Deepak Chopra
The Path to Love

New York, Harmony Books, 1997
Deepak does an excellent job of explaining the New Paradigm for Love and the union of Sex and Spirit. A popular and non-threatening approach which is totally aligned with Love Without Limits.

David Deida
Intimate Communion: Awakening Your Sexual Essence

Deerfield Beach, FL, Health Communications, 1995
A unique and interesting approach to making sense of male/female relations. Definitely not for the politically correct crowd, it presents a model for relationship that goes beyond equality.

Riane Eisler
Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth, and the Politics of the Body

San Francisco: Harper, 1995
If you read only one of these books, make it this one! Eisler offers a compellingly complete analysis of how our cultural attitudes toward love, sex, and family became so destructive as well as some clear guidelines for finding our way into a truly humane and sustainable future, where pleasure rather than pain is the basis for relationship with each other and with Earth. One key, says Eisler, is the restructuring of the family and intimate relationships between men and women. This volume offers a political and philosophical basis for the polyamory and sacred sexuality movements.

Helen Fisher
Anatomy of Love: The Natural History of Monogamy, Adultery, & Divorce

New York: Norton, 1992
Fisher's basic premise is that life long sexual exclusivity is unnatural for humans as well as virtually all other animals. She speaks authoritatively, frequently citing animal behavior studies and statistics for support, but many of her conclusions are in fact highly speculative. While Fisher has done an excellent job of unmasking the typical behavior hiding beneath our cultural norms, her apparent disregard for evidence of bonding beyond the dyad is a serious flaw. Fisher's perspective on the evolution of the family provides another interesting twist. She attributes modern family values to the agricultural tradition and views the current instability as a "return to our nomadic roots." Divorce, secret affairs, single parents, and blended families are nothing new, she asserts, and have always been common. The only new development, she insists, is single people living alone who choose a network of friends they consider family.

Dalma Heyn
The Erotic Silence of the American Wife

New York: Signet, 1992
Brilliant, highly readable stories illustrating why women stray from monogamy expose conventional marriage as a patriarchal, misogynist institution. The message is that women's pleasure and eroticism is valid and important. Heyn urges women not to sell their sexuality out in order to fit the socially prescribed criteria for "good girls" and "perfect wives."

Carter Heyward
Touching Our Strength: The Erotic as Power and the Love of God

San Francisco, Harper, 1989
This inspiring book on sexual justice by a lesbian Episcopal priest and professor of theology is a rich source for a sexual ethic that truly honors diversity. Heyward's touchstone is the concept of mutual empowerment.

Spenser Klaw
Without Sin: The Life and Death of the Oneida Community

New York, Viking, 1993
Most recent of many books on the famous Oneida community which practiced both sacred sexuality and polyamory. Includes an account of founder John Humphrey Noyes system of complex marriage.

Dolores LaChapelle
Sacred Land, Sacred Sex: Rapture of the Deep

Durango, CO: Kivaki Press, 1992
Sacred Land, Sacred Sex combines impeccable scholarship with a personal, readable style to create a straightforward analysis of what's wrong with our culture, how it got that way, and what to do about it. LaChapelle traces the beginnings of the split between the human and the natural world to the widespread influence of the abstract Greek language which has no intrinsic meaning. (Just as mystic G.I. Gurdjieff does, though he does not explain as clearly why this is so.) Her understanding is based on over forty years of sifting through information derived from every conceivable academic discipline as well as direct observation of herself, her skiing buddies, and of the nature itself. Then, by sharing knowledge and stories collected from indigineous cultures around the world, she gives us a picture of another way to live along with specific suggestions for reviving the old ways. The road home can be summed up in one word, ritual. "Sacred ritual concerns putting all parts of the human together deep inside the individual, for putting humans together in society and for facilitating human interactions with nature. Such sacred rituals not only keep alive the old ways but also facilitate rapid change, effortlessly, in a society."

LaChapelle's courage and creative genius really shines through though in her ability to trace the links between caring for the earth, a sense of place, natural birth (population) control, spirituality, and human sexuality. Unlike single issue ecologists, she recognizes that the right use of our sexual energy is an important key to restoring balance to the earth, and she is not afraid to take on monogamy and the nuclear family as major contributors to the current crisis. "We're all bleeding at the roots because we're all suffering from treating sex as a substance. In fact, the biggest substance abuse of all is monogamy ... No energy is fed back into the whole of either the culture or the place. Of course, that's one of the reasons for the monogamous ideal, it keeps the economy of the Industrial Growth Society going very well."

Sacred Land, Sacred Sex is good medicine! "I do not presume to tell you how to do it, I merely explain how to set up structures so that nature herself, in your own place, can once again begin to teach you. In this kind of learning, there is no knowledge, in the usual sense, to process and convey; there is instead a deepening of attention to the pattern of all life around you so that you begin to live your life according to that pattern.

Richard Moss
The I That Is We:
Awakening to Higher Energies Through Unconditional Love

Berkeley: Celestial Arts, 1985
A personal account of the transformation process by a medical doctor who saw the light. Includes his experience in healing life threatening disease in himself and others through "energy work." Also has helpful sections on working with groups.

Bertrand Russell
Marriage and Morals

New York: Bantam, 1959
First published in 1929; a genuine classic by the Nobel Laureate. An entertaining and exquisitely clear critique of monogamy.

June Singer
Energies of Love:
Sexuality Revisioned

Garden City: Doubleday, 1983
Marvelous, beautifully written theoretical work, placing inclusive relationships in a psychological and spiritual context.

Celeste West
Lesbian Polyfidelity

San Francisco: Booklegger Publishing, 1996
Celeste West has written a wise, witty, and charming manual for all polyamorous people. Based on a survey of 500 lesbians, the ring of authenticity comes through in the nitty gritty details of the personal stories related here.

Neale Donald Walsch
Conversations with God Book 1, Book 2, Book 3

Charlottesville, VA, Hampton Roads, 1997
These popular works have really struck a chord with the American public. Incredible as it may seem, God comes out in favor of polyamory and sacred sexuality. Invaluable if you're looking for support for questioning monogamy.

Marianne Williamson
A Woman's Worth

New York, Ballantine Books, 1993
Another book with a scope beyond sex and relationship, included here because of the incredible validation it offers for alternatives to monogamy from a best selling, popular author.

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Thea Alexander
2150 A.D.

New York: Warner Books, 1976
Inspiring utopian fantasy about a society where jealousy and possessiveness do not exist. An underground classic despite the lack of literary finesse.

Marion Zimmer Bradley
The Forbidden Tower

New York: DAW Books, Inc., 1977
Low-tech science fiction tale about a race of telepaths with sexual mores similar to, but slightly different from, those of earthlings. Twin sisters and their new husbands find themselves forming a powerful foursome which becomes the core of a new culture. Bradley (best known for The Mists of Avalon) has captured the essence of multipartner lovemaking in this volume of the popular Darkover novels.

Ernest Callenbach
Ecotopia and Ecotopia Emerging

New York: Bantam, 1975
Two more underground classics, packed with information about ALL aspects of life in a sustainable, ecological utopia where people are not phobic about multiple intimate relationships.

Wayne Dyer
Gifts from Eykis

New York: Pocket Books, 1984
Amusing and uplifting allegory on new paradigm love with useful input on dealing with negative emotions, such as guilt, fear, jealousy and dependency. Also provides encouragement for challenging the status quo and realizing utopian dreams.

Robert Heinlein
Stranger in a Strange Land

New York: Berkeley, 1961
Grandaddy of the underground classics; often credited with beginning the modern alternative lifestyle movement. Recently reissued in an unexpurgated edition. If you can overlook what would now be considered sexist dialogue, you're left with a grand vision of sexualoving religious communities.

Robert Heinlein
The Moon Is a Harsh Mistress

New York: Berkeley, 1968
Another Heinlein classic, which introduces the concept of line marriage.

Marge Piercy
Woman on the Edge of Time

New York: Fawcett Crest, 1976
Better written but more depressing than any of the above, this feminist utopia has a lot in common with the more patriarchal visions aboveói.e., nonexclusive relationships and expanded family.

Doris Lessing
The Marriages Between Zones Three, Four, and Five

New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1980
Doris Lessing has been teaching us about relationships and other important matters through her novels for several decades. In this parable, the female ruler of a highly evolved society where multiadult families are the norm is sent to mate with the male ruler of a backward, violent and repressive patriarchal kingdom.

The Fifth Sacred Thing

New York: Bantam, 1993
A delightful tale of a self sufficient, spiritually and ecologically responsible culture struggling to preserve itself from the attacks of an evil empire. Imagine that the best and highest elements of the neopagan movement have become cultural norms and you'll have a glimpse of Starhawk's vision. A vision with polylove, sacred sex, and expanded family at its heart.

Alice Walker
The Temple of My Familiar

NY: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1989
Best selling novel by one of the most talented Americans writing today. Most reviewers have neglected to mention that the book's main characters engage in multimate relationships which are for the most part portrayed in a positive light.

Music Return to top

Lazaris Remembers Lemuria
by David Frank

Ethereal, heart opening instrumental which we often play during the puja. It conveys the feeling of returning to the home of your soul.

Solaris Universalis
by Patrick Bernhardt

A true classic, one of the best of this genre. Heart opening, expansive music with unique chanting woven into the melody. We often play this toward the end of a breath or sexual healing session or during Tantra Polarity Circles.

by Deuter

This is shake it up music, composed to accompany Osho's moving meditation. We often use it to open a workshop and get into our bodies.

by Brent Lewis

World beat drumming, guaranteed to make your body move. Often used for the "men's dance."

Shaman's Breath
by Professor Trance

Great tribal dance music with jungle noises and far out narration. Our most requested "get the energy moving" title.

El Hadra: The Mystic Dance
Sufi inspired melody with a hypnotic "heart beat" drum. Takes you very deep. We often use this to start the breath sessions.

by Steven Halpern & Suru

Not our friend Steven usual stress soothing massage music! This is African drumming with hypnotic background melody. Tribal dance music.

Ocean of Remembrance
by Aruj Guvenc & Timata

One of the best recordings of Sufi chanting or Zikr. Great meditation music.

Fire: The Best of the Pointer Sisters
by the Pointer Sisters

Includes our favorite dance numbers, Jump for My Love, I'm So Excited as well as our theme song, I Want a Lover with a Slow Hand.

by Gabrielle Roth & the Mirrors

Initiation is a Gabrielle Roth classic and still our favorite, taking you on a sensual, rhythmic journey. Can be used for erotic dance but we usually play it during group massage. Refuge is Gabrielle's latest release and is her version of traditional Tibetan Buddhist chanting. Good for meditation.

by Nomad

Australian aboriginal music, for trance dancing or breathing. Also good traveling music.

Serpent Mound
by Rusty Crutcher

Native American influenced instrumentals and some low chanting. Earthy, mystical, and heart opening all at once. We sometimes use this in the chaos puja or for group massage. Also by Rusty Crutcher Lovedance Heart opening, jazz-based instrumentals. Some of our favorite puja music


by by Alain Eskinasi

Evocative, sensual instrumentals take you on a journey through the chakras or energy centers in the body. We like this one for the sexual healing sessions.

Love Never Ends
by Melosphere

More heart opening, delicate, dreamy instrumentals. We sometimes use this for the puja or worship circles. Also good for lovemaking.

by Bonampak

Unique Mayan flavored mystical, upbeat, music, some with vocals. We use this for "spooning." If you like Peruvian flutes you'll like this. Perfect for our Tulum, Mexico Tantra Retreat Oct 10-17, 1998.

Footprints and
Beggars and Saints
by Jai Uttal and the Pagan Love Orchestra

Jai Uttal combines Hindu devotional style vocals with a world beat sound. Infectious! We often use this to set the mood for Saturday night Celebration time. Also good for lovemaking.

by Sophia

Sophia became well-known in tantric circles for the original music she once composed and played for Charles Muir's workshops. Her soaring, heart opening voice, inspiring lyrics, and gentle instrumentals are perfect for setting a tantric mood.

Ancient Mother
by Robert Gass and On Wings of Song

Our favorite Goddess music, includes Pagan, Christian, and Hindu chants calling in the Goddess. Often used before the workshop to set the mood.

also by by Robert Gass
Om Namaha Sivaya

The traditional Hindu chant, On Wings of Song style, honoring Shiva, the Divine maleness.

Journey of the Drums
by Prem Das, Muruga, & Shakti
Shamanic drumming, jungle sounds, evocative, erotic, emotivie human voices, often used during the breathwork.

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Contents © 1997-  Love Without Limits  Website by Cin  Updated October 2015